For One More Day: An Enlightenment in the Melancholic Moments of my Life

For one more day, as I grappled to the enormous pile of books at the shelf of my usual bookstore, it was rather a jungle of books calling for my attention but this one book caught my sight and interest. At the back cover it revealed a short quote... which says:

" If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it?? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it??"

Hmm... that simple phrase indeed struck me. Being as an implusive creature as I am, I grabbed the book and without hesitation bought it and like a little child waited until I reached home to open it and see what's inside!

At first, I was hesitant to read it since having read one of Mitch Albom's book what's so special with this anyway?... But still I was drawn by it! Like a pile of sand being pulled by a magnet.

As I flipped it page by page, it reminded me of things which happedned in my life not that I did got drunk (maybe sometimes--- those were the old days!) or attempted to end my life. But rather rare moments spent with the family and those people whom you cared about. It was rather a trip down memory lane!.. In short, I liked the book... it brought me back to those old days, my younger years... and how important that one day in your life. That one day which counts every single strand of your life. I gasped and sighed** " For one more day"....

As I turn the last few pages of the book, the short quote at the back of the book caught my attention again. It made me think and reflect.***

" If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?..."

--- Would I have that chance?*** And if that time comes, would I be able to fix it? What are the wrong things in my life should I fix? Which ones to be in my priority list? Would it be my first cat fight at school, would it be the first lie that spilled out of my mouth, would it be the cheat cheats I did for my other classmates, would it be my usual pre-school excuses to my teacher to make me send home and skip class, or should I start with what I did wrong right now?... Should I fix the easier ones or the hardest first?... Would I be brave enough to stand it?***

't was rather a struggle for me to have it all figured out, since all of these things take into account, the wrongs I've done in my life. Would a single person be at the same thinking moment as I am and reading the same book. What would be his/her answer to these mind buggling question. As my mind plowed through these, I came to realize I am lucky because I still have time to fix things... To fix what is present right now and not hold back to the ones which I've done. Let it be a lesson and a scar which may remind me of the wrongs I've done. Indeed, I will still have that chance and be big enough to stand it when it comes!...

So now I leave this question to you " If you had that chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did worng in your life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?..."


Quotes and Phrases from the Book (made the whole book experience memorable)

page 42 (Chick): " There is everything you know and there is evrything that happens. When the two do not line up , you make a choice."

page 49 (Posey): " Going back to something is harder than you think."

page 145 (Posey): " When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at the unlikely times."

page 186 (Posey): " Secrets... They'll tear you apart"

Chick's final thoughts:

" What causes an echo?.. The persistence of sound after the soruce has stopped. When can you hear an echo?.. When it's quiet and other sounds are absorbed."

" It was ashamed now that I tried to take my life. It is such a precious thing. I had no one to talk me out of my despair, and that was a mistake. You need to keep people close. You need to give them acess to your heart..."

" I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't."

" There's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall, a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins..."

The Crime Has Stopped...

A very unusual Tuesday for me! Silence enveloped every corner of the room. For me it was a little bit weird and bothering since I am not used to this unexplained silence---(coz, I am bit of a chatterbox!). Not because I haven't had a sleep, or rather I am having my usual girly periods, or mood swings nor the usual excuses for my silence. I think this is quite different!

My unexplained silence brought me to a different pedestal of thinking and reflection. A lot of thoughts crowded the deepest recesses of my mind. At first it was a bit confusing, but later on I figured it out, and one thing is for sure "The Crime has Stopped". It has been a while since I have that deep reflection of myself and what is goin' on with my life. It is hard though to have that short pause and think about things, since I have a very fast paced life. Full of timetables, schedules, and even a long list of To Do's for the whole week and sometimes for the month. But these things, I can handle and manage, work for me is just a simple thing! It is just an addition of your life's tasks. The hardest part would be your life's mysteries and surprises. Especially, surprises since you don't know when they are coming!

Again... the crime has stopped! I think this is my favourite connotation for the day! It was indeed a struggle for me. It was like stopping a drug addict from his usual addictions, a baby being weaned from it's mother's bossom, a candy being pulled from a little child, or rather a theif's decision to have a new life. It was indeed the darkest and struggling moments in my life. To come to a decision to have the crime stopped...

I think it was a good decision for me though, it was an eye opener for me as well. My intention at first was to teach someone a lesson but it turned out differently. It was me whom I have thought this lesson. To have a sense of self. To look back and think about the things in my life which made a difference. To be firm on things which made me weak at times!... It was rather a struggle for one's self.

Being one with the crime, created a whole different me..! I hardly noticed that I was a changed and dragged into a different perspective in life. Can't barely recognize the real me. It indeed affected my life. I was so drawn into it...like being pulled by a blackhole of some sort!... It was so deceiving that it created an imaginary life with the crime! Looking back into it was full of fond memories. But, I have to be drawn back to reality. Reality of what is happening. Reality of my true feelings. Reality of the crime!

't was both a struggle and also a relief for me, having to save myself from that insanity. Until it came to a firm decsion that the crime has to be stopped!...

Poem Scribbling Moments with JMB and SPN @ YM

A simple chat with a good friend started out yet another poem scribbling in my life. It has been quite a while since I have written one for a purpose or rather for something. My good friend had this idea of joining the Metrobank Design Your Own Card Contest which has the theme "most memorable photo". She asked me to pick out pictures which she have photo shared over our YM chat.

A series of pictures came out. Pictures which had our memorable moments together with our other good friends. The trip to Batangas, the Jollibee muchee moments, the Bohol pose, and our Singapore Days which was also our first barkada bonding moments. Laughter and happiness embraced both of us even though were just a YM chat away. However, loneliness still has not escaped both of us. It's an understatement rather! Since it has been quite sometime since we had those long talks about our lives.

This conversation with her made me also realize about things going on in my life at the moment---about our same and never ending workloads, our aspirations and dreams, our goals in life and also how can we escape our own love life (which is a total joke for both of us!)--since neither one of us has caught sight of our special someone! *damn*---life's bitterness. So much for the ED "emotional distress" moments again.

Since we came into an agreement to which photo she would have as the entry. We also need to still have a brief description of "Why should it be our winning entry?". We thought of explaining this in a different way. By poem! Hope this would be our winning statement and photo entry. But nonetheless, this is already a winner for us since it expressed both our feelings and wants during our short chat.

Here it is... Our winning entry! *fingers crossed*...

Pause for a Moment and be Steady in this Race So-called Life!

(Authored by SPN, Inspired by JMB)

We are running too fast in this race the so-called life. We forgot to admire, to reflect and to realize how much lost time. It's time to pause, turn around and appreciate your valuable and one God-given life. To pause is not equal to laziness or lethargy but rather to wait and seize life's treasures and mysteries.

To pause for those precious moments, pause to turn around and see which road we have travelled - the stumbles, the downfalls, the triumphs and the winnings. The wisdom and each life’s lessons and cravings.

To pause for each step we took- for the decisions we made, for life’s choices we have opted and prayed, to each rejection we’ve overcome, and to the times where faith, vigour and exuberance was tested upon.

Too fast in the so-called race of life!

To the steadfast and unfaltering aspirations of our times. Coping up to the needs and demands of our work and labour time. To pause for a moment or two for our own lost and forgotten point in time. To pause is to seek that flickering hope of a better tomorrow beckoned and yearned for.

Learn to wait and not weary, for at the very end of our life’s tunnelled struggles are the fruits of our tranquillity and moment’s pause.

It’s a hurdle! To the so-called race of life.

People and Time are both in a rivalry. A struggle for competition, opulence, and superiority. But what can those things bestow if along the way a lot has vanished and been lost. Lost time, lost moments, lost feelings, lost life, lost friendship and lost people. People we have gravelled on, people we have stepped on, people we have missed out, people we've hurt and blunted out, people we have forgotten and failed to reach out.

Pause is one of life’s essentials. It teaches us to keep on, to share our abundance, to love, to be patient, to cheerful and be happy, to be contented in what we have and receive, to be thankful to the giver of Life, and always be steady in this race of the so-called life!

The entry photo

An Emotional Blackout

The unusual emotion...the endless confusion...
Things which has been circling my mind and giving nonsense heart's suggestions...

The pain...the sorrow....
Feelings which creeps into the deepest recesses of my tomorrow!

The sadness...the madness...
Longing for your sweetness and your heart's gentleness

The change...the desperate move...
Some may stay and dare to prove!

The whisper...the beat of your heart...
How can you say that you are my life's part?

The gasp...the sighs...
You are just one simple passerby!

The tamer...the constant jester...
Behind this mask lies a different sombre...

The companion...the meek ally...
Your constant rock and not just your alibi

The memories...the shared thoughts...
None of these shall ever be bought!

The apologies...the missery...
Life's constant foe and trickery

The heart's conclusions...my failed emotions...
This is just but one of my heart's painful illusions

The echoes...the emptiness shouts...
My emotional blackouts!

NewsFlash!: To Bloggers Out There!

Excerpt from Yahoo News (Jeff Haynes): 14 Jul 2008



SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian woman described as the world's oldest Internet blogger has died at the age of 108 after posting a final message about singing "a happy song" in her nursing home. Olive Riley "passed away peacefully on July 12 and will be mourned by thousands of Internet friends and hundreds of descendants and other relatives," a note on her website said.


Riley had posted more than 70 entriges on her blog from Woy Woy on the east coast since February last year, sharing her thoughts on modern life and her experiences living through the entire 20th century. Born in the outback town of Broken Hill on October 20 1899, she lived through two world wars and raised three children while doing various jobs, including ranch cook and barmaid.

In her final post on June 26, she wrote: "I can't believe I've been here in this nursing home for more than a week. "How the days have flown, even though I've been in bed most of the time. I still feel weak, and can't shake off that bad cough. "Penny, who's in the next bed to mine, had a visit one day this week from her daughter, who's a professional singer. Guess what happened! She and I sang a happy song, as I do every day, and before long we were joined by several nurses, who sang along too. It was quite a concert!"

Riley's blog, initially on www.allaboutolive.com.au and more recently at http://worldsoldestblogger.blogspot.com, was "mind-blowing to her," her great grandson Darren Stone said. "She had people communicating with her from as far away as Russia and America on a continual basis, not just once in a while," he told the national AAP news agency.

"She enjoyed the notoriety -- it kept her mind fresh".

Life's Thoughts: I do envy Olive for having all the time to seek refuge to her blog since most of my blog time would be lunch breaks, late night sleepless moments, or rather a quick sneak from my office email. Hope I would still be able to share the same passion for blogging until my last breath...Emo!

Monday Madness: Gasp to Surf and Gettin' Stoked

Another usual Monday, nothing beats the Monday Madness or syndrome rather. I have to wake up early in the morning just to avoid the usual monday traffic jam and of course the coding scheme. Today was quite different from the usual sunny Monday, it's a bit gloomy though, skies a bit nostalgic and dark, maybe it's about to rain. Confided early in my office desk @ 6:30 am, since it's still early so I tried to seek refuge in blogging and listening to Marie Digby music which is a bit weird for me though (maybe I am geetin' the hang of it!-Marie Digby malady). But a sudden chat with a friend regarding surfing, sort of made me nostalgic about surfing again. I miss the waves...i miss the usual stumble on the water and the excitement of riding the waves. He actually just arrived from the surfing camp together with some friends. I really do miss my surfing frolic. A big *sigh*, maybe if time and choice permits I will be united with the waves and my board!. Although I am that of a newbie or should I say in a surfers lingo "GROomeT".

Miss Invisible (Marie Digby): Nostalgic Nonsense

There's a girl
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
And though she smiles
There is something just hiding
And she cant find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
She'll say...

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
The begining, in the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others they couldnt seem to get past all the things that mismatched
on the surface
And she would close her eyes when they left and she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She retreated to where she is now
And she'll sing...

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
that you will ask her...her name
And one day just the same as the last
Just the days been in counting the time
Came a boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind...

Life's Thoughts: I so love the lyrics of this song, to think I am not a Marie Digby fan, I think the lyrics of her songs speaks a lot about her experience on life, love, obtacles, downfall, breakups, struggles and truimphs. "Miss Invisble" is an autobiographical song which she wrote for Pantene Pro-Voice Contest in 2oo4, which actually won.

Beating the Birthday Dementia: Brewing up Crime Buddy's B-day Surprise

Time to beat my usual Birthday Dementia!---this time I am quite sure that I won't miss another special person's b-day or rather mistakenly greet a person's b-day.

I really love surprises and of course thinking of what to do for a surprise…It has to be extra special and memorable, the kind of surprise that will move crime buddy to tears---since he's quite a tearjerker.

Ideas were overflowing...my brain performed yet again another tiring brainstorming of its own..! I thought first of chocolates (dark choc truffles---YUM!) co'z he is a constant fan of chocolates--dark chocs to be specific--- but he's quite on a diet mode right now so I rather have to skip that part. Another idea was to give him a huggable yet hypoallergenic teddy bear, since he has allergic rhinitis *atchoooo!*, which is by the way my usual trademark since I am really used to giving out huggable teddies and since he gave me a huggable stuffed toy dog---Bonzo, it's payback time! But, still it's not yet a big surprise to him...so I decided to rather give him a scrapbook which had our day-to-day adventures, the minimal and spontaneous vacations, and memories. I think this will really make him cry....awwww (cry me a river dude!). To make it really a big b-day surprise, I asked the hotel staff to have it delivered to his room since I won't be able to hand it to him personally since I have to catch a much earlier filght back.---dude cencya na trabaho muna!

After seeing my work of art, I can't really imagine that I would be able to make it as artistic yet special----haven't been that artistic persona for quite sometime!

To you my crime buddy, HAPPY B-DAY...! hugs and kisses from me! Til the next b-day surprise...

The Evidence: Crime Buddy's B-day Surprise

Birthday Dementia (Oooppsss...sorry!)

It has happened to me thrice for this year that either I mistakenly greeted a colleague or forgot a special and good friend's birthday. Well...yes... I am guilty to this crime! The crime of stupidity or maybe dementia of some sort. I am really ashamed when people get me corrected that its not their birthday and I would repeatedly make them admit that it's indeed their b-day..trying to make them sometimes mad at me for being makulit! (well...that's my trend super kulit but in a good way naman!)

Well, I have just committed a crime...I have been charged for BIRTHDAY DEMENTIA....I was supposed to give my bonne amie a surprise birthday gift... all has been set and planned since we will be seeing each other next week...which I thought was her b-day... Totally, excited about my surprise to her I called our other confidante but guess what I have just found out... I have just missed her birthday...Shit!----the preparation and all had fallen like the Tower of Babel---- and she was really expecting something extra special from me...knowing me that I am used to fabricating suprises----just like on Valentines Day!

Last resort was to call our company's ever trusted florist to deliver something but it has to be on the budget.... since my funds are a bit paltry as of the moment! I did apologize to her of not having to greet her on her special day...but IT'S BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! She even told me that her b-day greetings wouldn't be complete without me greeting her.... I even told her na isipin mo na lang na nasa ibang timezone ako either US or UK... which is a day late! hehehe...excuses!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Bonne Amie !!!----Next year I'll have to get it right! Promise!

Caught by the Big Boss!

Have you ever been caught by somebody ???

Spending 4 days in Cebu again for work! Didn't expect that Big Boss would even know our devious plans. We were so flabbergasted when she knew this. Funny thing is, it came as a shock to us since it was supposed to be our big surprise to them. Resignations at the same time, what a big SURPRISE and a bit of a headache for them !!! but turned out to be we were the ones who got shocked and stunned... kaw bah naman and sindakin ni Big Boss...

Oh well... Small World! At the end of the day....We still got caught! Next stop is to the gas chambers or electric chairs for us... 1-on-1 maybe??

Got Sleep???

Got sleep??? Totally my answer would be a big "NO". I am not really into a job which entails me in a so-called "graveyard shift (in short sepulturero---hehehe)" neh....not that! but still I lack sleep....I just can feel that I am in my own way deprived of this thing and I don't know why??? It isn't just enough. Maybe because of work backlogs, overflowing sequences of thoughts or maybe because I am goin' back into my strange self "being INSOMNIAC". I even tried drinking hot milk (as what other people would recommend), counting sheeps jumping over the fence, thinking of happy thoughts---parang Peter Pan???, drinking a couple shots of beer/wine/tequila or even trying to force my eyes to shut down. But I just end up having a big headache in the morning.

Well, folks all I can say is that "Blessed are the people who can Sleep". So while you have a chance get as much sleep as you can. So grab those nice and comfy pillow of yours (try renting Bochok----Crime buddy's pillow) and tune on your fave evening lullaby (Baba Black Sheep or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star----) and say hello to MR. SANDMAN...

Abrile: A Month to remind Me of being Antediluvian

Abrile...the month dedicated to Venus (according to Ancient Roman beliefs), the month of cherry blossoms in Japan, the same day and month where Shakespeare was born. And its my special day!...

Another year has come again for me to celebrate or rather painfully remind me that I am at this point in time gettin' down much nearer at the bottom of the calendar...but not that much though... Worst but funny thing about my special day is that I did spent it again away from my family, friends, amigas, compadres...etc...etc... It has been almost 4 years that I am celebrating it on my own or usually away, I might be on business trip and work (with Crime buddy as my constant companion)---no choice eh dude! or even in school preparing for those dreadful exams...Whew!

But eventhough my special day was celebrated outside of my comfort zone, special people in my life would still call, SMS or simply buzz just to greet or remind me of gettin' antediluvian... What's so memorable about these days would either be a race in one of the 8 Wonders of the World (Great Wall of China), my first winter chill during April---which is totally weird, or a visit from your worst nightmare----my Singaporean Boss "mener à la baguette" who delightfully greeted me with a smile and hug !

Having another trip to my B-day memory lane, each year I do celebrate this day it gets even more and more memorable with new people gettin' involved in it! To the people who constantly remembers my birthday... Thanks a lot!--- and to the people whom has been a new addition to it, I thank you as well...but I 've been more thankful if you have added a little extra somethin' di bah---ang lagay bah eh, ganun na lang---just kiddin'. To my Crime buddy, who is always present during these days, thanks for being there to celebrate it with me---

Violin Madness! A New Undertaking

I need a deviation from all of these...junk pile of emails...a bagful of workloads...a long list of reports....Release me!!!

A sudden feeling for something new to challenge me came into my senses! I decided to take violin lessons. Another sudden outbursts from me...to think it was completely a different and new instrument to learn again and quite different from what I used to play. I am really known for this outbursts which sometimes gets me into trouble and my mom would always try to scold me for this attitude. But, they can't make me say "no" to this, I want this and want to pursue this! Being that hard-headed person, they can't really--- unless there's a life changing and threatning situation that would make me quit.




I am not quite sure though how would I fit this into my very demanding and hectic schedule...???hmmm....???nevermind I'll find a way, as along as I satifsy this sudden outbursts of mine. Maybe this will keep me away from the usual office work that I'm always monotonously at. Sort of like deviate from the pains of work!


Since I'm quite determined in this violin madness... I am hoping that I'll be able to play some real music out of it... probably... Apologize (One Republic) ---- (with crime buddy as my first trial audience--my music guinea pig for short!).

Graduation...Graduation...!Yes---School Dayz are Over!

May....Month of Graduation! An end to the painful and dreadful school days...it's all over but not for me though?! I would like to take this opportune moment to congratulate my psuedo baby brother Chaboy! It's over...another chapter of your life has been put into an end! Bravissimo! A new challenge to tackle again...!---and a very challeging one!

I still can remember my College Graduation Days way back...It was memorable yet boring since our graduation speaker only talked about nonsense things and the whole boring stuff!... I almost slept during his whole talk!----Why do grad speakers have to do that everytime???

Well....the best part is, it's the end of the sleepless nights thinking about your exams, your thesis defense, or the long list of signature you need to complete for your school clearance---Whew! But after this whole thing, my life became more boring, I don't seem to enjoy the whole BUM scenario.....So the longing for school days came back to me again...and endured another 2 years of post-graduate school....What the heck was I thinking again?#@*/

And....now still planning...and longing again to go back! Who knows???

Reflections for the Day

Today was a very stressful and tiring day. Me and Brit-mates would say " I am really knackered let's go to the PUB and drink some lager-----Arrrgh!". But being in this state made me realize so many things... about my life... love (which is totally NIL!) ...work (oh no! here we go again!), just anything that pop into my mind. So many instances in my life just slipped into me like some sort of flashback... College... Masters Degree... previous job the whole memoirs----the endless bursts and utter of shits here and there! Whew... that's a bit too much for a flashback though!

Some may say that I am that person whose life is totally fine. No worries. No problems. Just plain fun and enjoyment. But they are so wrong! I am just that person who always make her life FUN as possible. So much for the emo and senti memoirs....






Having been a long and tiring day it is, still it was very fun! and the best part is GOD STILL GAVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE to experience all of this fiasco in life!

Firsts...

Good things comes in firsts!!!

Like my first Barbie doll (which ended up headless due to brawls with my brother's Batman action figure; Like my first trip to the dentist which took one whole day for me to get through one simple anaesthesia---OUCH!; Like my first cat fight in school which resulted to my parent's first trip to the Principal's office----also their first, and lastly my first ever cheerleading audition in highschool that landed me as a pedestal for my other co-cheerers due to my height and sturdy legs....hmp! in short I didn't get the part of being on top of the pyramid or even be at the center waving the team's banner (Masyado daw kasi akong over-qualified for that part!)